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Schoolyard bullying -- the torment of one child by another -- is often compared to workplace bullying. Both types share common underlying principlesóthe desperate grab for control by an insecure inadequate person, the exercise of power through the humiliation of the Target. School-age bullies, if reinforced by cheering kids, fearful teachers or ignoring administrators, grow up as dominating type people. If it works for them, there is no reason to change. At work as adults, they do what they do best--bully others. An unknown percentage of workplace bullies have a lifelong record of disrespecting the needs of others. Of course, the cues given off in a super-competitive workplace will draw out the dark side of many others who were not bullies in a prior life, witnesses perhaps, but rarely Targets.
The stakes for workplace bullying are more serious than in the school. Bullying threatens the economic livelihood not only of the Target but the Target's family. When a bully decides to capriciously untrack a Target's career, years of investment in terms of time and money, are at risk. Finally, the most important difference, the one that distinguishes our approach to solutions, is that the child Target must have the help and support of third-party adults to reverse the conflict. Bullied adults have the primary responsibility for righting the wrong, for engineering a solution. When others intervene on their behalfóas when a more aggressive, well-intentioned spouse takes over finding the solutionóthe Target suffers additional consequences from giving away their independence.