I do what I want to do. I don't go with the flow.

I didn't grovel.

When he first yelled at me, I looked him in the eye and told him that his lies weren't true.

I wasn't afraid of him -- and I was the lone woman!

My unionism. Another steward was "on the take" with the company, resented my arrival and smeared me to management. My manager never got to know me in the 9 years I worked with him.

It didn't help that I failed to respond to his advances, but he always had a problem with me, with women in general, and with anyone who was reasonably intelligent, literate, numerate, competent and hard working. I was all of those ... and boy, did he punish me for it.

Target competence:

I considered it a "capability backlash!" When I came along, the bully seemed to know that I could see through him. I saw through his facade of "just winging it."

In staff meetings when he asked if there were questions and I had any, I asked them. When asked for comments about a proposed policy, I commented on how our "clients" other agencies subject to our review would react. I was trying to be helpful and honest. I was perceived as disloyal to say anything.

This manager was demoted to our division. She has no ability to perform the duties expected of her, including not being able to manage people effectively. She was placed here because ours is the smallest division in the city, and the higher-ups are just waiting for her to retire.

He "eliminated" every woman who worked for him in a technical capacity. I have to hand it to him, his success rate was 100%. He did everything he could to make me and the others go away.

This person has reached his level of incompetency and uses any excuses to blame others.

I worked harder than anyone else, was about 10 times as productive as anyone else and truly loved my job, was totally dedicated.

The bullies seemed to think that people with good academic ability were dweebs.

In my 10 months there, I launched a brand-new program that won a state award in the National Make A Difference Day competition and won another for improving the quality of life of people in our two-county area. He couldn't stand it.

We are the only two nurses in our department. This nurse is the senior nurse with much less education and maintains control by bullying.

Meaningful work has been taken away from me despite the job description. I am being "de-skilled."

He was technically very insecure and probably felt inferior.

Back to the Results - Bullies
Back to the Results - Targets

Target personality/social skills:

I was idealistic and positive -- posted uplifiting quotes on my cubby walls.

My personal integrity gives me a defense backed by my peers that the bully had difficulty dismantling.

New administrator disliked my rappport with students and their families. As my position was clerical, I believe she wanted me to only "hit the keys" and to not interact and be such a positive influence.

Whistleblower-type situation:

Found out that my immediate supervisor and he were having an affair.

I considered it a "capability backlash!" When I came along, the bully seemed to know that I could see through him. I saw through his facade of "just winging it."

I always made him aware of his major weakness -- no planning, everything a crisis and last minute.

Target's turn in rotation:

At the first lunch together my new co-workers told me how happy they were that I was hired because now she would have new blood to draw and she would then leave them alone.

I undertook a project (fairness in rotation of assignments) and became the focus of the bullies for supporting an unpopular plan.

Back to the Results - Bullies
Back to the Results - Targets

Bully's personality/unrealistic expectations:

When we federal employees (air traffic controllers) did go to the newspapers in town, regional management let it be known that "maybe we should get you (the local bully manager) a baseball bat to handle the problem here." We are all looking for a way out, ANYWAY out.

Bully resented my coming into his work area, which he considered to be his "kingdom."

The bully is younger than us, so it appears he is trying to show us that he is "the boss." Rather than work with us, he works against us.

This bully seems to be very caught up in expressing his power over people, focuses on minutia.

Bully was a poor performer, felt position was threatened. Very insecure personality, not well liked by peers.

Jealousy, hatred against people that want to do their jobs and not do something because everyone else does it.

Greed. She could not stand to see somebody quite different making a good living.

Bully has cancer and has a horrible outlook on life in general. Pretty much was an ass before, but that got worse after the disease and appears to be angry at the world.

He has "issues" against all women.

The bully has some form of mental illness. Slightest of life's frustrations send this person into fits of screaming ahd hostile behavior.

Is a late-stage alcoholic.

I am a woman. The bully's best friend had a job with the company. His friend lost his job. I believe that the bully feels that I am responsible for that.

He needs to be right all the time.

Bully appears to have too much work; instead of delegating the work, she holds onto it and complains she has too much to do.

Bully is a power-monger and narcissist, unable to admit mistakes, unable to express feelings other than rage.

Bully comes from an alcoholic and dysfunctional family with siblings who are still addicted.

...so self-absorbed that she doesn't know that others are real people with real lives. When confronted with issues, the mentality becomes "you, you, you." Everyone else is incompetent.

He saw me as having to meet all of his needs to feel worthwhile.

Narcissistic, need to feel in his own mind that he is "superior."

Full of shit. Whenever I provided a sound explanation in mediation (another whole story), he simply went on yet another complaint about me!

I married a manager, a peer of my bully. There was no policy against it. The bully, by his own admission, did not like the position he was put in by having to manage me and tried as hard as he could to make me quit, which he did.

He took everything away from me, called me names, never sent e-mail, never told me about meetings, sneered, scowled, and snarled at like a bad dog, shook with rage whenever I opened my mouth, and when his superiors, the contractors, and the public suppliers requested my involvement in projects he'd taken away, he fought them hard.

© 2000, Gary Namie. Use without permission prohibited.